


Dimming Flame

by Sanata101



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Cyberverse
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Quintessons, This should had been canon, showers all the gay shit I can into here, take it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23104228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanata101/pseuds/Sanata101
Summary: Hot Rod tries to move on and tries to forget the feelings he has for Drift, but its to hard to forget that he was the one who killed him and starts becoming more afraid when he realizes that his feelings were starting to become more effective for Soundwave and tries to hide it by trying to avoid him.However, Soundwave wasn't gonna allow that.
Relationships: Dead End/Perceptor (Transformers), Hot Rod/Soundwave, Megatron/Optimus Prime
Comments: 13
Kudos: 72





	Dimming Flame

"Ow! Fragging pit..." 

Hot Rod curses as he accidentally bumped into a door when he should had known that it wasn't automatic like the Ark. Already today wasn't going out well for him like the last few days. Its been fragging hell, to say the least for him anyways. 

Ever since the wall had got put down and fractions start to live together as one, and Hot Rod started to take over for Optimus's work (despite not having a matrix) he was starting to figure somethings out, and it wasn't something about work anything of the sort at all, in fact. The something was in fact about a certain _someone._

And right now, he was scared about it. And Hot Rod wasn't mostly scared of anything except for this...

"Hot Rod?" He jumped and got back to his feet when he heard his name called, not even realizing that he had fallen to the ground just now and he quickly turned his head and saw that Perceptor was there. 

"Oh, um h-hey Perceptor um...you didn't see that, right?" Hot Rod asked, watching as the autobot scientist crossed his arms looking at him with now working blue optics that he (finally) had Ratchet repair since Dead End was always saying that he needed to get them checked out. He had become slightly protective of him after all that battle with the Other One and whatnot. 

"Hm... If your talking about how you suddenly speed walk right towards the door towards the command room then yes, I did see it." He said, making Hot Rod sigh. He probably should had guessed that Perceptor wasn't actually going to say things like that to possibly make him feel any less better. 

"Thanks Perceptor, that helps a lot.." Hot Rod said as he rubbed his rubbed his optics, causing Perceptor to frown. 

"Hot Rod...have you been getting enough sleep recently?" He asked, making Hot Rod freeze.

Oh fragging slag. 

"Um...what makes you think I haven't?" Hot Rod asks nervously as he lets out a small laugh and quickly moves towards the door and starts punching in the numbers but kept messing up, making the bot curse under his breath. Which made the stethoscope more concerned.

"You have bags under your optics, you haven't been drinking much fuel lately, and to top it all off you've been avoiding Soundwave as well." He said, making the bot's servo stop moving and his whole entire frame tenses up.

"...I'm fine." Hot Rod said, his cheerful voice suddenly gone and replaced with a dull and emotionless, causing Perceptor to frown even more when he had noticed this. 

"Hot Rod, if you want to talk-" 

"I SAID I'M FINE!" 

That made Perceptor step back in shock at the sudden yell. Hot Rod realized what he had said and sighs pinching the bridge of his nose. "Look...I-I don't want to talk right now Perceptor, I got work to do so just...leave me alone for a while okay?" He said, after finally managed to punch in the right codes he quickly enters his office and shuts the door and it locked instantly soon after it shut, making Perceptor frown. 

Something was wrong with Hot Rod. _Very wrong._

* * *

"Wait, so he yelled at you and basically just shut the door on you?" Asked Dead End who stared at him wide opticed as he saw his sparkmate nod is head. 

"Yes, it seems his condition is most serious then we all thought.." Perceptor said and glances over at Soundwave who was leaning against the wall and was listening to the entire conversation that they were having.

He too, had noticed the changes in Hot Rod, and despite not showing it, he was seriously concerned and worried for his friend. He's grown to even start to fall for said mech and he wanted to know what on cybertron he had done in order to make the mech start to avoid him. Not only that, his concerns are starting to grow the more he started to notice how much he was seeing Hot Rod become more and more sleepless and saw that from time to time he wasn't trying to drink as fuel as he should anymore. 

"Well what can we do? At this rate the mech is probably going to try and offline himself if we don't do anything about it." Dead End said and crosses his arms. Instantly the words that he said suddenly made Soundwave's head shoot up. 

No...there was no way that the autobot would try and kill himself. 

No fragging way.

"He wouldn't do that." Soundwave growled, causing Dead End and Perceptor to look at Soundwave who then heads towards the door. 

"Where are you going?" Perceptor called and Soundwave stopped and turned his head to look at the two of them. 

"I'm going to get Hot Rod back."

* * *

Hot Rod sighed, placing his servos over his head and whined feeling his fuel tanks running low. He knew he should get up and refuel but he couldn't, not when he had work to do, and he also couldn't since he didn't want to see Soundwave right now...

The thought of the dancer made his spark skip a beat and he shakes his head. No. He can't. He's already gone through enough heart break as it was with Drift, but he knows for a fact that Soundwave wouldn't be like that. 

Right?

He ended up falling in love with a decepticon traitor, someone who was his friend, someone who he thought would actually care about him and love him for who he was, but that was all just a big lie. All of it was a complete lie. He....He shouldn't had felt that way for him, never should had start falling for him but he did. He loved the mech so much he would go to the ends of the universe for him but....he can't. He couldn't because he killed him. 

He could possibly end up killing Soundwave next if it came to that...no it couldn't, everything was okay now! Everything was _okay!_

"SO WHY DO I STILL FEEL FRAGGING PAIN?!" The mech shouted and tossed away the data pad, causing it to crack when it hit the wall just when his office door had opened to reveal...

Soundwave. 

Oh no, oh primus please no. 

"Hot Rod...." Soundwave spoke in a serious tone. He knew he heard the shatter of the data pad, he knew he felt slightly afraid, but he didn't care....but he did care and felt more afraid about the sight in front of him that made his spark ache in pain. 

Hot Rod looked like he hadn't slept in days, his paint didn't look like it got waxed and there were still some scratches and dirt on him from the times he had to be out on patrol. But the sight that scared him more than anything were those dimming blue optics that looked like they were about to go offline. Those optics that suddenly start to hold the same amount of fear that he has been feeling for him. 

Without a second thought, Soundwave had shut the door, placed in a new lock code so Hot Rod wouldn't get out and went towards him. "Hot Rod...we need to talk..." He said, making the said mech look away from him and fix his gaze on the ground. 

"What's there to even talk about?" The mech asks numbly, and he flinched hearing the sound of the blue mech's servo's slamming onto his office desk. 

"You! Look at what your doing to yourself! This isn't the mech that I had seen before when the damn Quintessons attacked and invaded cybertron! Right now I'm seeing a complete mess of a mech who's ready about to offline himself!" He shouted, making the other mech instantly shot his head up and growl at him. 

"I'm not trying to offline myself!" 

"Then why the frag are you not drinking any of your fuel then?!" 

"I don't need it right now!" 

"You don't need it?! Look at you! Your optics practically are about to turn black! You need fuel now!" 

"What makes you think I care about my primus damn life?!"

"BECAUSE I DO!" 

That made Hot Rod freeze and stare at Soundwave in shock. "...what did you just say?" He mumbled, causing the mech to growl. 

"Are you seriously becoming this idiotic? Fine. I guess I have to make you understand."

Suddenly he felt him grab him by the arm, he thought the mech was going to punch him, but what he didn't expect was to see the mech's battle mask vanish and slam his own lips over his own, kissing him deeply. This caused Hot Rod to freeze and his blue optics went wide in shock. After what felt like forever he felt the mech pull away and bring his battle mask back on and stared at him with bright red visors. "Now do you understand, or do I have to try and do it again and take it more further?" 

Hot Rod just stood there in silence, completely dumb founded until, coolant bleed from his optics, causing Soundwave to freeze. "Hot Rod? What's wrong?" He spoke in a quiet voice, gently placing both his servos to cup his face but Hot Rod quickly pushed them away.

"N-No...I-I can't fall for this again...n-not like with Drift..." Hot Rod mumbled unconsciously, shocking Soundwave. 

"What about him?" 

"I..." Hot Rod bites his lower lip plate and shuts his optics and felt like crying more, but then felt the taller mech hold him close and nuzzle the top of his head with his chin. "Hot Rod please...tell me what's wrong.." Hot Rod swore, that for a second he thought he had heard Soundwave's own voice had cracked. The spy's arms around his small body felt warm, and comforting as well. 

It made him feel safe...safer than he had ever felt when Drift held him like this before. 

"...I loved Drift...b-but..." He the bot sobbed and bite his lower lip. "I...I just c-can't....I don't know what to do...even after he betrayed us, even though he's _dead_ I...I s-still..." He sobbed, and buried his face into Soundwave's chassis, making the blue bot slowly rub his back as his thoughts went over the things Hot Rod has said until it finally clicked. 

He still loves Drift but he hasn't moved on.

Then again, how could he not? If he did loved them then of course he would feel so horribly guilty for killing him in the way he had. Not only that, but the mech was someone who was still a decepticon agent had _betrayed_ his own sparkmate and thought nothing about him. But Soundwave wasn't a stupid bot, he could tell that Drift was also starting to feel a little bit soft whenever he asked for information about him from time to time whenever they had secret conversations. But that was a long time ago, and in the end he probably never had gotten to know how Drift really felt for Hot Rod, maybe if he had just been a bit more suspicious about the mech maybe he could had gotten some answers to see if the mech had really grown feelings for Hot Rod.

But that was too late, and he couldn't change the past. And both of them know this, and it was why Hot Rod was trying to pretend not to care about it. He's trying so hard to convince that it wasn't his fault, that the mech had deserved it. But he just couldn't. 

He must have felt this way for a very long time ever since the Quintessons had been here, and if it was for that long, Soundwave feared that if he hadn't act quickly then Roddy would had done something horrible to himself. 

"Hot Rod, listen to me.." Soundwave spoke seriously as he made the small mech look up at him. Gently he wipes the coolant from the bot's face and rests his forehead against his. Speaking and choosing his words as carefully as he could while a soft melody played using his speakers. 

"What happened was not your fault. Drift made his choice into betraying you because he wanted Megatron to succeed, but maybe there was a chance he did cared about you just a little. But I can't confirm that if it is the truth or not. But what I'm saying, is that its okay to feel upset, but you can't always keep that bottled up inside..." He strokes the flaming autobot's cheekplates with a gentle touch of his digits. 

"I am not like Drift either Hot Rod, and I started to care about you more and more as the days of our lives go by, and I'll do anything to make sure you stay happy and protected...I want to keep you safe, and I want to be the mech that can give you the kind of happiness that Drift possibly couldn't have given you. So please, let me be that mech.." He gently spoke and moved his servo from Hot Rod's now red cheeks to his chin and held it in place as he removed his mouth guard battle mask again. 

"I-I.." Hot Rod trailed off, staring off at Soundwave's red visor. "I...you already are..." He mumbled and instantly felt Soundwave kiss Hot Rod once again, holding the mech closer to him and gently rubs his cheek. The kiss was passionate, and Soundwave could feel the fiery feelings Hot Rod was using to make the kiss understand just how he felt, so he does the same and kept a tighter hold around him and slowly pulled away from the kiss when they felt like they needed to try and break. 

And instantly, Soundwave felt his spark flutter once he saw Hot Rod's sweet, bright smile and his optics no longer had that dull look in them anymore. 

He got his Hot Rod back. And he is never going to risk losing him like that again 

**Author's Note:**

> Alt title: Hot Rod is a innocent boi and Hasbro was a jerk for doing what they did to Drift and should had made Soundwave and Hot Rod a freaking canon ship god dammit.


End file.
